Description of a cartoon
Hello
I must do a description and explication of this cartoon:
Who can correct the mistakes of spelling and meaning?
this document is a cartoon in black and white which represents three skulls. The subject of this cartoon is man's evolution. On the left, there is a prehistoric man's skull, it is few built-up, it has got a small jawbone, a small forehead, and some little eyes-sockets.In the middle, there is a man's skull, it is fully developed. On the right, there is an american-TV man's skull, it looks like the prehistoric man's skull but it has larger eyes-sockets and smaller brain than prehistoric man. In front of the prehistoric man's skull, we can see flints whereas in front of the american-TV man's skull we find bottle of beer, soft-drink and others detritus.
This document denounces the "couch potato lifestyle" of american people. The expression "couch potato" is used to describe people who spends much of his time sitting or lying, watching television and often drinking. The "couch potato lifestyle" can be compare to prehistoric man's life, but the american-TV man is even worse since he is passive, he watches TV,drinks, eats...Whereas the prehistoric man is active because he cuts flints.The american-TV man's skull has larger eyes-sockets and smaller brain because he watches much television.
In order to conclude we can notice that this cartoon makes reference to the theory of evolution of Darwin which describe the fact that man is descended from monkey. But this reference is modified in so far as the cartoon shows that the theory is reversed since man regress compared whith the prehistoric man.
Thank you
Re: Description of a cartoon
Well written. It communicates clearly, and your analysis is quite good.
I tried to make suggesions on grammar and useage and to avoid questions of style. I wonder if I have succeeded. I also tried to avoid challenging the content.
As a learner of French, I want become fluent in passable French; elegance of style will come later, if ever.
Here's a word you can use to advantage. The most remarkable and relevant aspect of the skulls is the difference in the size of the brainpan (that part of the skull that houses the brain) Pre-historic man has a very small one, the fully evolved skull has a very harge one, the American TV man has no brainpan at all.
Linking two sentences with a comma is called a comma splice and is a grammatical error That occurs where I have written "period, new sentence" except when I have given another reason.
When you use "couch potato" as an ajective, a dash is required.
This document is a cartoon in black and white which that represents depicts three skulls. The subject is man's evolution. On the left, there is a prehistoric man's skull. (period, new sentence) It is few built-up not well developed. ( period, new sentence) It has got a small jawbone, a small forehead, and some little eyes-sockets and small eye sockets. In the middle, there is a fully-developed man's skull. It is fully developed. On the right, there is an American-TV man's skull (period new sentence) It looks like resembles the prehistoric man's skull (insert comma here)but it has larger eyes-sockets and a smaller brain
(paragraph here) In front of the prehistoricman's skull, we can see flints (period, new sentence = transition not needed = parallel construction = style) whereasin front of the American-TV man's skull (insert comma here) we find a bottle of beer, a soft-drink (insert comma here) and others detritus.
This document denounces ridicules the "couch (insert dash)potato lifestyle" of American people. The expression "couch potato" is used to describe people who spends much of his their time sitting or lying down, watching television (insert comma here)and often drinking. The "couch-potato lifestyle" can be compared to that of prehistoric man man's life, but the American-TV man lifestyle is even worse the worst of the two. (period, new sentence = sentence getting too long= unnecessary transitional phrase = style) since He It (antecedent is lifestyle, we are comparing lifestyles, not men) is passive, (period, new sentence here) he The couch potato (need to reestablish the subject) watches TV,drinks, and eats... (insert semi-colon here)whereas (Uneeded transtion = style) the prehistoric man is active because he cuts flints.The American-TV man's skull has larger eyes-sockets and a smaller brain because he watches so much television (there is another thread on the use of much as an unqualified adjective)
In order to conclude In conclusion we find can notice that this cartoon makes reference to the theory of evolution of Darwin Darwin's theory of evolution which describes proposes the fact that evolution of man is descended from monkey. But This reference Darwin's model is modified here (period, new sentence = conciseness) in so far as The cartoon shows that the theory is reversed (period here, new sentence = clarity and style) sinceAmerican TV Man is shown to have regressed when compared to the fully evolved modern man in the center of the cartoon and the prehistoric man on the left.
I tried to make suggesions on grammar and useage and to avoid questions of style. I wonder if I have succeeded. I also tried to avoid challenging the content.
As a learner of French, I want become fluent in passable French; elegance of style will come later, if ever.
Here's a word you can use to advantage. The most remarkable and relevant aspect of the skulls is the difference in the size of the brainpan (that part of the skull that houses the brain) Pre-historic man has a very small one, the fully evolved skull has a very harge one, the American TV man has no brainpan at all.
Linking two sentences with a comma is called a comma splice and is a grammatical error That occurs where I have written "period, new sentence" except when I have given another reason.
When you use "couch potato" as an ajective, a dash is required.
This document is a cartoon in black and white which that represents depicts three skulls. The subject is man's evolution. On the left, there is a prehistoric man's skull. (period, new sentence) It is few built-up not well developed. ( period, new sentence) It has got a small jawbone, a small forehead, and some little eyes-sockets and small eye sockets. In the middle, there is a fully-developed man's skull. It is fully developed. On the right, there is an American-TV man's skull (period new sentence) It looks like resembles the prehistoric man's skull (insert comma here)but it has larger eyes-sockets and a smaller brain
(paragraph here) In front of the prehistoricman's skull, we can see flints (period, new sentence = transition not needed = parallel construction = style) whereasin front of the American-TV man's skull (insert comma here) we find a bottle of beer, a soft-drink (insert comma here) and others detritus.
This document denounces ridicules the "couch (insert dash)potato lifestyle" of American people. The expression "couch potato" is used to describe people who spends much of his their time sitting or lying down, watching television (insert comma here)and often drinking. The "couch-potato lifestyle" can be compared to that of prehistoric man man's life, but the American-TV man lifestyle is even worse the worst of the two. (period, new sentence = sentence getting too long= unnecessary transitional phrase = style) since He It (antecedent is lifestyle, we are comparing lifestyles, not men) is passive, (period, new sentence here) he The couch potato (need to reestablish the subject) watches TV,drinks, and eats... (insert semi-colon here)whereas (Uneeded transtion = style) the prehistoric man is active because he cuts flints.The American-TV man's skull has larger eyes-sockets and a smaller brain because he watches so much television (there is another thread on the use of much as an unqualified adjective)
In order to conclude In conclusion we find can notice that this cartoon makes reference to the theory of evolution of Darwin Darwin's theory of evolution which describes proposes the fact that evolution of man is descended from monkey. But This reference Darwin's model is modified here (period, new sentence = conciseness) in so far as The cartoon shows that the theory is reversed (period here, new sentence = clarity and style) sinceAmerican TV Man is shown to have regressed when compared to the fully evolved modern man in the center of the cartoon and the prehistoric man on the left.
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